


Anxiety Attacks

by PattRose



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst and Humor, First Kiss, Implied Slash, M/M, sappy romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-24 02:25:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/934085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something's going down at the station and Blair overhears it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anxiety Attacks

Summary: Something's going down at the station and Blair overhears it. 

 

Anxiety Attacks - Patt 

 

"Did you here the news? Mr. Attitude has jumped the fence. With Sandburg, no less. Can you believe that shit?" Detective Fred Miller announced to his partner, Sam Marshall, as they stood side by side taking a leak in the restroom on the ninth floor of the Cascade PD. 

"No, not Jim Ellison! It can't be!" 

Blair Sandburg, sitting in a stall, made sure he stayed very, very quiet as he listened. 

"I heard every one in Major Crimes has known for ages and just puts up with it because they are afraid of Ellison," Miller added. 

"Well, they might put up with it, but it doesn't mean we have to." Marshall agreed. 

As Blair listened he felt himself growing upset and he opened his mouth so he wouldn't breathe too noisily. First of all, he wasn't sleeping with Jim. Secondly... well, secondly, it would be nice if it were true. Trying not to sigh, Blair pulled up his legs so they wouldn't see him. 

"You know,” Miller said, "Ellison is going on stakeout tonight and I hear that a bunch of the guys are going to let him have it. I think we should go along." 

"Whoa, now wait a minute, that's a going a little too far, " Marshall said as he washed his hands. 

"Who says?" Miller said. "What's the fag going to do, tell on us?" 

"I really don't think that would be a good move on our part." Marshall said timidly. 

"Marshall, you are such a whimp,” Miller said. "The next thing you know, you'll be saying that the fag has a right to his boyfriend." 

"Actually," Marshall said suddenly growing bold, "if they aren't hurting me, why should I care? You know, this is becoming way too personal for me. I won't be involved. I'll call in sick first." 

"Marshall," Miller said, "don't even think about telling Ellison or Sandburg. Because if they find out, we'll know who to come after." 

"I'm not going to say anything to anyone." Marshall shot back. 

"Good," Miller said, "Keep it that way. Now let’s get back to work. And remember, I better not hear a word from you about this to anyone." 

When Blair heard the door shut, he finally put his feet down. Grimacing at the cramps in his calves, he wondered what the fuck he was going to do. He hadn't a clue. He might have to talk to Joel or Simon and get their opinion without mentioning names. Shit, what a mess. 

He opened up the stall door to find Marshall was standing there waiting. Falling back into the stall, Blair had a feeling he was going to have an anxiety attack. 

Marshall leaned in and said, "Sandburg, calm down. I knew you were in here. I saw your hiking boots, before you picked your feet up." 

Blair started breathing easier and said, "Why didn't you tell Miller I was in here?" 

"What, do I look stupid?" Marshall said. "Ellison would kill me and besides that, Miller scares the fuck out of me." 

"How many guys are going to be there tonight?" Blair asked. "I have to warn Jim, or at least be there to help him." 

"Probably about six or seven." Marshall volunteered. "Look, I have to go before my partner notices I didn't come out. Tell Ellison to take care." 

Blair went into the bullpen, to see Jim coming out of the break room carrying a coffee for both of them. Smiling Jim handed one cup to Blair and said, "Chief, anything wrong? You look pale." 

"Everything's fine, man." Blair answered. "Do you have stakeout tonight? And if you do, could I go along?" 

"Sandburg, what is up with you?" Jim said laughing, "You're my partner, and of course you coming along." 

Blair took a drink of the coffee and burned his mouth. At his grimace of pain, Jim shook his head. "Sandburg, what is going on? Coffee is usually hot, you know." 

"Sorry, Jim," Blair said. "Do you think we could we leave early today?" 

"That's not a bad idea, Chief,” Jim said laughing. "I'll go and see what Simon says." 

After Jim had gone into Simon's office, Blair crossed to Joel's desk and asked, "Joel, could I talk to you for a few moments? If you're not too busy." 

Joel immediately saw the panicky look on Blair's face and motioned for him to follow him out of the bull pen and down the hall. 

Blair was having a hard time breathing. He just didn't know what to say. _Fuck_ , he thought, _this is so screwed up._

Joel sat down on a chair across from Blair and said, "Okay, Sandburg, spill. I want to know what is going on and I want to know now." 

All of the sudden, the door flew open. Jim stood there with a paper bag and handed it to Blair, who immediately began to breathe into it. Jim said, "It's okay, Chief, we'll figure it out. Don't worry. Everything will be fine." 

When he finally had his panic attack under control Blair finally said, "Jim, please don't go tonight. Just stay home with me." 

"Chief, it's our turn to be on duty, we have to be there,” Jim said. "Do you know something I should know?" 

"No," Blair said quickly, "I just have a bad feeling about it, is all." 

Joel stood up and said, "All right, enough of this crap. Someone is threatening him, Ellison, you can tell." 

"This true, Chief?" Jim asked. 

"No," Blair answered truthfully. 

"So what is it then? 

"This is my first official stakeout and I'm having second thoughts," Blair lied." Jim, please, let's not go." 

"Chief, you have to give me more to go on than that or we're still on stake out." Jim said. If you want to stay home, that's fine. I'll go see if Connor will go on with me tonight." 

Jim spoke nonchalantly, but Blair could tell Jim was really upset with him. Blair started having another attack, just when Simon walked into the room and said, "What the hell is going on here? Don't you three have any work to do? And what the hell is wrong with Sandburg?" 

"We don't know what's wrong yet." Joel said. 

"Could you two please leave?" Simon said, "I want to talk to Sandburg. Alone." 

As Jim and Joel exited grudgingly, Simon gave Jim a meaningful look. "And Jim, I don't want you to listen in. This is private." 

Then turning to Sandburg, Simon said, "Okay, out with it. What is going on? I know something is up. You've been looking like walking death since you came out of the restroom a little while ago." 

Blair jumped up and started pacing back and forth, over and over. It made Simon wanted to strangle him, but instead the captain just watched Sandburg work off some energy. 

"Sir," Blair said, "have you ever had to choose something and you didn't know what to choose, because either way, someone would get hurt?" 

"Yes." Simon said nodding, "Some things have no easy answers.” 

Suddenly, Blair made his decision. "Sir," he said, "A bunch of cops are planning on beating the shit out of Jim tonight after the stakeout." 

"Why?" Simon asked. 

"Because they think that Jim and I... that Jim and I are together,” Blair said quietly, "And they don't want a fag on the force. Someone took it upon himself to warn me, but if they find out he did, they'll beat the shit out of him instead." 

Blair had started breathing hard again and Simon said, "Blair, calm down. It's going to be okay. Now first of all, I won't have you two alone tonight. I'll send backup. Secondly, if you tell me who it is I'll have the other person watched, too." 

"Okay, Simon but you can't keep that up forever, you know," Blair said sadly. 

"Sandburg," Simon narrowed his eyes at his newest detective, "Are you sleeping with Detective Ellison? Not that it matters, but I'd like to know." 

"No," Blair spoke so softly, Simon had to strain to hear him, "I wish, but no." 

Simon gave a tiny grin and said, "Well, don't worry, kid, we'll work things out. Now, I'm going to call Ellison in here and tell him it was nothing more than an anxiety attack," Simon continued. "You're just nervous over your first stakeout and don't want to let him down. This sound good to you?" 

Blair nodded his head in the affirmative, and Simon opened the door and called out, "Ellison, get in here." 

Joel tried to come in with Jim and Simon said, "Get back to work, Taggart." Then he slammed the door shut. 

Smiling apprehensively Jim said, "You okay, Chief?" 

Blair couldn't help it; his partner's voice was his undoing. He went into his arms and Jim just held him tight and rubbed his back, murmuring, "It'll be okay, Blair, I promise." 

"He's nervous about tonight, Jim." Simon said, "Having anxiety attacks and everything. He'll be all right. He's just afraid he's going to let you down." 

"Sir," Jim said, "I don't think so. Something else is wrong. It's not because he's afraid he'll let me down. Blair knows there is no one I trust more." 

Blair mumbled something into Jim's chest and Jim said, "Look, we need to talk things out. Is it okay if we leave now?" 

"Just as long as you come in early tonight before the stakeout, Jim, " Simon said. 

"Sure thing," Jim said, "Come on, Chief, let's get out of here." 

When they got into the truck, Jim said, "Okay, want to tell me who threatened me, Blair?" 

Blair just looked out the window. "I don't know what you're talking about, man." 

"Chief," Jim said, "I've been hearing stuff all day about someone beating the shit out of me after the stakeout because I'm a fucking fag. So I already know, okay?" 

Blair gasped, "Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Because I was hoping that you'd tell me the truth,” Jim said. "Why was this so hard for you to do?" 

"Because there is someone else that will suffer," Blair said. 

"They threatened you, Chief?" Jim asked. 

"No," Blair said, "One of the guys in the restroom knew I was there and he didn't tell anyone about it. So, if you found out, he'd be the one they'd blame." 

"Don't worry about it, Chief,” Jim said quietly. "We've been through worse than this." 

When they got to the loft, Jim gave Blair a look. "Come upstairs, I want to talk to you till you fall asleep and your bed is too little." 

Blair didn't even argue with him. He followed Jim up the stairs. They slipped out of their clothes and slipped under the covers with their boxers on. 

"Blair, do you think it bothers me that they talk about us being together?" Jim asked. 

Blair almost choked on his saliva. "Jim, you trying to kill me here?" Blair asked. 

"Well, do you?" Jim asked. 

"How could it not?" Blair said, "How could they respect me if they think you're fucking me?" 

Jim brought his lips down on Blair's and kissed him softly. "Now Chief," Jim asked, a moment later, "How do you feel about that? Does this put a different light on this whole thing?" 

"Jim, what are you doing?" Blair asked trying to recover from the shock. 

"I'm letting you know, that I wish I was making love to you. And I would gladly get the shit beat out of me, if I was,” Jim said smiling. 

"Jim," Blair growled, "this isn't funny, not even a little bit." 

"I couldn't agree more." Jim said looking deep into Blair's eyes, "I want you, Sandburg. If you don't want me, please tell me now." 

"Jim," Blair pleaded, "I tell you someone wants to beat you up and now you want to make love to me?" 

"I've wanted to for a long time, Blair,” Jim answered softly. 

"For how long?" Blair asked. 

"For about a year, I guess," Jim said. "I'd really like to make love with you. I'd like it more than anything else in the world. 

Smiling Blair said simply, "Okay." 

They kissed long and deep, and then kissed some more. Finally, Jim pulled Blair over on top of him and pushed up against Blair's body. Their cocks were lined up just right, so it felt like sparks were going off in their groin. Both men were soon moaning. Jim knew that this was going to be fast because they both needed this so badly. 

Blair pulled Jim away from his body for a second and asked, "Jim, would you fuck me?" 

"Have you ever done that, Chief?" Jim breathed. 

"No." Blair answered, "but I'm a quick learner and I want you inside me. Please?" 

"Under one condition, Jim said. "Next time you get one of those anxiety attacks, you have to think of this and take deep breaths and remember how great this feels. Do we have a deal?" 

"Yeah, man," Blair said smiling. "I think I can handle that." 

And the kissing started up again. 

It was then, Blair knew that everything would be all right. He'd be fine. Jim would be fine. They'd kick ass together and that's the way life would be. So, he gave himself up to his lover, and simply concentrated on being fucked senseless. 

The end.


End file.
